Carl Cryplant's Christmas Music Vol. 1

Der alte CLUB MORAL Kollaborateur CARL CRYPLANT mit einer Weihnachtsüberraschung!

Well you ungrateful brats probably expected me to rot in hell or find my body lying in the earth, bereft of consciousness, like a useless piece of wood, which is thrown away. But no my dearest kiddies I am still alive and kicking, and as a matter of fact I'm inviting you all to come to my shack next to the railroad track to celebrate the wonderful time of Christmas when everybody is giving love to everybody. As you can see on the cover picture my shack is already in full Christmas flavour and I'm completely red-nosed and ready to get all that love from especially you girls.
Apart from spinning my usual turntables and microphone, cassete player and a synthesizer to cook up the first fine mix of Christmas Music, I have also invited some friends who will play for you.
A Special Personalized Christmas Greeting to You from all the Retailers of America is performed by Erik Lindgren while you get off at the Railway Stop. Then there will be a fine Merry Christmas Baby sung by you most appreciated Mae West. Velvet Santa by Divide and Kreate will get you into the mood and perhaps some of the most hot hearted girls in the dancing shoes! To cater for my Asian friends I selected a Korean version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Good King Wenceslas will be performed by my dear friend Korla Pandit who will also cater for some damn hot Muslim snack food. The Merry Christmas Polka by Jim Reeves is for those who already are in the mood for some naughty love wandering in the woods, but beware - it can be cold out there when you plan to bear some of your flesh! With her Christmas (Baby Please Come Home), Darlene Love will call you all back to my railroad shack where I will announce a very special performance.... Little Drummer Boy & Silent Night by Jimi Hendrix, yes folks, even druggie drummer boys get silent once a night. The Sesame Street Cast will then Wish You a Merry Christmas to introduce the more adventurous among you to a Sleigh Ride by The Ronettes. Those who prefer to stay next to the fire and take off some of their clothing will be invited to do so by Miss Frenchie's White Christmas (Electro Mix). Of course we don't want to disappoint the lovers of some classic Christmas music, so I was thinking of Jingle Bells by Dean Martin, albeit a Dan the Automator Mix - you don't mind since Dean's bones weren't really fit for shake anymore. To please all you Heavenly Creatures of course I also just had to invite Mario Lanza to perform his so touching version of O Christmas Tree. Which brings us to the Lonely Siberian Winter Dj John will tell you all about. Since he's also ever so lonely I thought I'd bring in some Snow for Johnny by Burl Ives. But then he found out that The Hat I Got for Christmas is too Beeg so Mel Blanc will also be there to prepare your horses for another Sleigh Ride by the Flying W Wranlers. I guess by then everybody will be completely naked in my overheated love shack by the railroad track which is just perfect to turn loose Jingle Hell by the Space Negroes.
So see you all soon boys & especially you girls!
Your beloved,
Carl Cryplant.

http://carlcryplant.podomatic.com/

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